I'm a mess and you're a work of art

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Sat, 18 May 2013 15:29:58 +0300

my final thought before making most decisions: fuck it

Sat, 18 May 2013 15:05:34 +0300

my final thought before making most decisions: fuck it

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Sat, 18 May 2013 15:02:23 +0300

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Sat, 18 May 2013 15:01:19 +0300

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Fri, 17 May 2013 13:44:50 +0300

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Thu, 16 May 2013 22:55:07 +0300

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Thu, 16 May 2013 22:51:35 +0300

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Thu, 16 May 2013 22:51:29 +0300

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Thu, 16 May 2013 22:10:53 +0300

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Thu, 16 May 2013 19:49:06 +0300

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Wed, 15 May 2013 23:09:57 +0300

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Wed, 15 May 2013 23:09:14 +0300

Random numbers: 28, 42, 69, 75, 78, 81, 145, 153

Wed, 15 May 2013 22:18:00 +0300

28: Favourite movie - there are a few of them, but probably Fight Club, Titanic and LOTR trilogy.

42: When did I last hold hands? - I haven’t really held hands with anyone in a romantic way :( I kinda did on April 30th but yeah.

69: Do I have any nicknames? - no, my name is so short.

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - I was trying to fall asleep ~~(or actually I think I was having a panic attack but we’re not going to talk about that shh)~~

78: How can you win my heart? - trust is super important to me so I should be able to trust you and talk to you about things I don’t talk with many people, so you should probably be a good listener, empathetic and really understand me on an emotional level (or something, I don’t know how to put it). I also need to see that you do appreciate me. spontaneity, sense of humor that matches mine, having same passions as I do… more superficial things are stuff like wearing nice clothes and musicality. oh, and I love flaws. but y’know, in the end it’s kinda hard to say how to win my heart because it’s not all about the qualities the person has. it’s the feeling you have with them. cheeeeeeesy.

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr - I’m sorry but I don’t feel like doing this now… but idk follow my friends iwva and geekstinklaura.

145: Am I afraid of heights? nah, not really.

153: My closest Tumblr friend well I have many friends that have a tumblr and I’d say Johanna and Laura (those whose blogs I just linked) are the closest ones.

thanks for asking!! :)

5, 44, 63, 76!!!!1

Wed, 15 May 2013 21:56:00 +0300

5: 4 turns on - dressing well (this is very important, if you want to hit on me you better wear clothes I like), smelling good, musicality and confidence, or like that you know what you’re doing.

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? - do you want me to sound like an ape or a caveman? :( screw you.

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - I do and don’t believe in ghosts but I do believe in aliens. I just think we’ll never actually find them.

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? I knew you were going to ask this one!!! but idk, I feel like he doesn’t have a last name.

let the questions flow guise

Wed, 15 May 2013 20:48:39 +0300

1: Full name
2: Age
3: 3 Fears
4: 3 things I love
5: 4 turns on
6: 4 turns off
7: My best friend
8: Sexual orientation
9: My best first date
10: How tall am I
11: What do I miss
12: What time were I born
13: Favourite color
14: Do I have a crush
15: Favourite quote
16: Favourite place
17: Favourite food
18: Do I use sarcasm
19: What am I listening to right now
20: First thing I notice in new person
21: Shoe size
22: Eye color
23: Hair color
24: Favourite style of clothing
25: Ever done a prank call?
27: Meaning behind my URL
28: Favourite movie
29: Favourite song
30: Favourite band
31: How I feel right now
32: Someone I love
33: My current relationship status
34: My relationship with my parents
35: Favourite holiday
36: Tattoos and piercing i have
37: Tattoos and piercing i want
38: The reason I joined Tumblr
39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?
40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?
41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?
42: When did I last hold hands?
43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?
44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?
45: Where am I right now?
46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?
47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?
48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?
49: Am I excited for anything?
50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?
51: How often do I wear a fake smile?
52: When was the last time I hugged someone?
53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?
54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?
55: What is something I disliked about today?
56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
57: What do I think about most?
58: What’s my strangest talent?
59: Do I have any strange phobias?
60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
61: What was the last lie I told?
62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
64: Do I believe in magic?
65: Do I believe in luck?
66: What's the weather like right now?
67: What was the last book I've read?
68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?
69: Do I have any nicknames?
70: What was the worst injury I've ever had?
71: Do I spend money or save it?
72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?
73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?
74: Favourite animal?
75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?
76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?
77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?
78: How can you win my heart?
79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?
80: What is my favorite word?
81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr
82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?
83: Do I have any relatives in jail?
84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?
85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
86: What is my current desktop picture?
87: Had sex?
88: Bought condoms?
89: Gotten pregnant?
90: Failed a class?
91: Kissed a boy?
92: Kissed a girl?
93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?
94: Had job?
95: Left the house without my wallet?
96: Bullied someone on the internet?
97: Had sex in public?
98: Played on a sports team?
99: Smoked weed?
100: Did drugs?
101: Smoked cigarettes?
102: Drank alcohol?
103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?
104: Been overweight?
105: Been underweight?
106: Been to a wedding?
107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?
108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?
109: Been outside my home country?
110: Gotten my heart broken?
111: Been to a professional sports game?
112: Broken a bone?
113: Cut myself?
114: Been to prom?
115: Been in airplane?
116: Fly by helicopter?
117: What concerts have I been to?
118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?
119: Learned another language?
120: Wore make up?
121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?
122: Had oral sex?
123: Dyed my hair?
124: Voted in a presidential election?
125: Rode in an ambulance?
126: Had a surgery?
127: Met someone famous?
128: Stalked someone on a social network?
129: Peed outside?
130: Been fishing?
131: Helped with charity?
132: Been rejected by a crush?
133: Broken a mirror?
134: What do I want for birthday?
135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?
136: Was I named after anyone?
137: Do I like my handwriting?
138: What was my favourite toy as a child?
139: Favourite Tv Show?
140: Where do I want to live when older?
141: Play any musical instrument?
142: One of my scars, how did I get it?
143: Favourite pizza toping?
144: Am I afraid of the dark?
145: Am I afraid of heights?
146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?
147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?
148: What I'm really bad at
149: What my greatest achievments are
150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me
151: What I'd do if I won in a lottery
152: What do I like about myself
153: My closest Tumblr friend
154: Something I fantasise about
155: Any question you'd like?

wanna know what’s sick? the fact I couldn’t get his face out of my head when I went to bed last...

Wed, 15 May 2013 18:03:00 +0300

wanna know what’s sick? the fact I couldn’t get his face out of my head when I went to bed last night.

you can’t even believe how much I hated myself, like he was right there and I couldn’t even go and apologize for me being an asshole because I’m kinda not allowed to do that and it’s my fault. also I didn’t want to disturb him or anything and I was afraid he would have laughed at my face or something if I had gotten enough courage and actually said something to him. and I think it would have just made me sad to say I’m sorry blahblah because that’s the only thing I could have said. I couldn’t have asked what’s up or anything because he doesn’t want to talk with me and he doesn’t want us to be friends.

jesus fucking christtttt I want to tear my face off. I’m so dumb. I would do so much to be friends again but it’s _never_ gonna happen goddammit.

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Wed, 15 May 2013 13:50:52 +0300

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Wed, 15 May 2013 13:50:38 +0300

I’m so confused because I’m so stupid nowadays but actually I’m just really smart....

Tue, 14 May 2013 21:53:00 +0300

I’m so confused because I’m so stupid nowadays but actually I’m just really smart. I’m just so lost I appear stupid as hell and it really bothers me. and sometimes it’s like I don’t have my own opinions on things which is the fucking dumbest thing ever.

I know it sounds stupid but I do think I lost a piece of myself when he left. I really do. and I constantly wish I could get that piece back, that he’d come back, but he won’t and he never will and that’s it.

my brain has become so stupid and fucked up. I can’t really tell what is normal teenage angst...

Tue, 14 May 2013 02:19:00 +0300

my brain has become so stupid and fucked up.

I can’t really tell what is normal teenage angst and what isn’t. sometimes I feel like I’m not ill, like I just exaggerate things in my mind and all I needed to do was to snap out of it and that’s it. but sometimes I feel like I really am messed up and that I need help. sometimes I even feel this could be something severe.

I’m so damn doubtful it drives me mad. like for fucks sake, I was pretty much bullied for 9 years at school, it wouldn’t be a surprise if I was mentally ill. but then again I’m like nah, I’m just looking for an excuse when in reality I just create this shit myself, after all there are so many people who think they’re not fine when they actually are. but how do I recognize if I’m one of those people or not?